Sometimes I get weird looks because of my appearance. I have two more piercings than a good girl should, I dye my hair weird rainbow-mermaid colours and I’m too poor to keep up with fashion trends. For example, I introduced myself to a someone at church the other day while wearing my (absolute favourite) T-shirt with my bones printed on the outside of it. In return I got a weird look, a point in the direction of my shirt, and an awkward silence. I still don’t know their name. #awkies
I am so thankful that Jesus doesn’t look at the outside. He’s concerned with my heart, not my grunge-ish tendencies, holes with metal in them and other oddities. Make no mistake, my insides can be just as strange and ugly as my outsides, but he’s the one who sees that and helps me do the spring-cleaning to make my heart shiny, new, beautiful and joyful.
Although, I do understand the judging of the inside by the looking at the outside. I’m a big fan of people watching, and an even bigger fan of giving back stories to the people I watch, both consciously and unconsciously. Sometimes I even do this out loud when I’m with my favourite person. Its a good way to pass the time. However, recently we made up a crazy, messed up story for a couple, when I realized that I can look and dress a heck of a lot like them. It made me think about the stories and assumptions people make up about me.
I know I can never control someone’s perception of me, so I don’t worry about what others think (at least not regularly), but what I can control I’d the person I portray when I speak and act. It reminded me that I am an ambassador of Christ wherever I go, and to whoever I meet.
That reminder punched me in the gut. It forced me to remember choices that I have made to ensure that I am being as much like Jesus as I can be. Whether those things are choosing to not swear or refusing to drink alcohol, I need to know why I am doing them or else my resolution wavers and I begin to slowly slide towards doing those things or thinking those thoughts.
The solution? Being an active ambassador for Christ.
That’s really broad, isn’t it? So how can I narrow this down? First: daily reminding myself, and asking him to remind me in every situation to resemble his holiness. Second: following through and actually resembling his holiness. Yeah. That’s it. I don’t have anything else. But the cool part is, he’s got it all.
In fact, he actually has already given it all to me through his Holy Spirit. I don’t need to worry about what to say, because he has the words. I don’t need to worry about what to do, because he has the directions. All I have to do is obey, which really takes off the pressure.
So even though I look a little weird, Jesus has made it possible for me to only be the good kind of weird. And for that I’m really thankful.